Just You!

**Please be warned that this is gonna be a really long post after 3 months of not blogging**
Sitting in ward 23, NUH right now, I guess I could take some silence of the hospital to think through what I've been going through since I turned 21. The world that revolves around me - God, Family, Friends, Relationships, Work, Business, the state I'm in, and the Future. My perspectives have changed, though differing little, it continues to stir really provocative thoughts in me. I, always want something better for tomorrow, something that coud possibly change the world, or at least the mindsets of the people around me.

God, Family, they've always been around me. There when I need them. But when it comes to relationships among friends and others, I really thought through hard and deep about it. My perspective and the way I am going to look at things, who my friends are, who I can really trust, and who I can depend on in my deepest and darkest moments.


My 21st celebration was never about, how big a party I could organise, or how much limelight would shine on me. It was a celebration of life, a way of thanks, to the people around me that have gone through a phase of life with me. They may not have been the closest, but they've definitely made an impact on my life I want to thank them for in one way or another.


The days that led to the celebration of the year, really showed me who cared, who really took the initiative to show their love for me by taking the time off to help me. Even though so, I really hoped my friends knew how to take the initiative whether they were helping or whether the things they did helped benefit others around them or even themselves. I think that's lacking in many young people in the present world. 'The heart to help with no gain or return.' I thank my mum and my neighbours for their love and their effort put in to making the party a great one for all. And especially my mum, who had many sleepless nights, and all the running about she had to do to collect the various stuff so that all the food could be such a spread for you guys! Yan Zheng & Calvin, thank you so much for taking leave to come help, though it would have been even better if you guys learn to take initiative more. It'll definitely help you a long way. =D


Music got the party going, thanks to Jeremiah, our budding DJ and his team that made it a totally wonderful night, spinning various genres of music. I guess no other party, or at least any other 21st parties you and I have been to has ever had 3 DJs spinning through the night.


I'm sure the alcohol got some people really going as well. An entire bar fully equipped with everything you wanted - beer(30L), wine, hard liquor of all sorts, mixers, and everything that needed a bar to be going, except a bartender. i'm sure no party has ever had so much like this. ha. And I thought I could clear everything at the end, but well, I was left with even more at the end. So please, if you wanna have a drink over at my place, you're more than welcomed!


With so many happy moments, and yes, loads of tiring moments, I felt really blessed with so many friends surrounding me with love. The gifts that poured in just showed how much each one cared. Though the greatest gift to me still, is each and every individuals presence, the thought, the effort to come, despite a busy schedule everyone has. Even as I say this, sometimes, I really hoped for notes, letters, cards, from friends that I've known for years and years. At least, that shows, how much they love me. That would be the best gift of all.


It has also come to my conclusion that, though many care, many on the other hand cannot be bothered either. More than 30 people that said they were coming did not even turn up, and many, in fact majority, didn't even bother to notify me. That really broke my heart. But ever since that day, it told me one thing, I cannot be bothered with you either. Why should I, if I'm not worth your effort. Why should I, if I don't mean a thing. Why should I, why should I. I know I sent that utterly love hate message on facebook. And yes, I mean what I say.

I really think humans should just learn to wake up a little and take a look around them. I know everyone has their own priorities in life. And if I happen NOT to be in that list, you won't be in mine either.

i felt a sense of warmth, because of the people that made the effort, though I hardly meet them once a year, or even not meet them but just because of work that brought us together. And some, whom I've not met in years. You just fill me with love with your presence alone. And these are the people, that yearn, to foster a friendship with you, that would and could possibly, last years, a lifetime.


Those who really know me, know that I treasure friendships above many other things. Those who don't treasure their friends, please think again. Your girlfriend/boyfriend may be with you for now. but one day, should it fail, you'll realise, you'll have no one around you, because you spent all your time on that one peson and neglected all your friends. Don't go crying then.

And please people, I hate empty promises. If you say you want to give me a treat, please make it happen. I'm not there to remind you. I don't need your treat. So say it if you mean it!

Work has been as per normal, if not crazier, but it doesn't affect me much since I don't bring work home. I just dread spending almost 4 hours of my time everyday travelling. So much could be done with that time.

Livesnapps is having it's ups and downs, with my wonderful partner wanting to leave the business though it hasn't been long. But through all that we are going through, i always ask myself, 'if God made it possible for us to begin this wonderful journey, who am I to say I should stop.' If God gave me the opportunities in life, and the more opportunities to come, why should I stop. Why should I stop others from having opportunities that I could possibly give when God was in it from the very start.


2010 is coming to an end, 2011 awaits me with more surprises, more drive, more commitment. I hope I ain't regretting anything big, but only the lack of commitment from many, to meet up after so so long.



You, make my life what it is, and You, motivate me, drive me, to greater heights.